Horrible monstrosities

orteil42:

1. you or a friend must maintain eye contact with at least one grandma at all times
2. under no circumstances should you allow a grandma to come into physical contact with rolling pins or other cooking utensils
3. the dentures have a mind of their own
4. you will have to come to terms with the fact that the grandmas will now remain with you and any of your future offspring : a grandma needs grandchildren
5. do not let them kiss you, do not let the moisture entice you
6. don’t let the tendrils catch you off-guard

Eye contact? What are they, weeping angels? ._.;;